SOLDERZ

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer fora 3-day pass.The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and youalready want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for thatrecognition!"So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?""Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs.I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up,the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Doyou want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"Giving very odd excusesThe General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there. Onefinally ran up, panting heavily."Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a littlelate. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it brokedown, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles,and now I'm here."The General was very skeptical about this explanation but at least hewas here so he let the G.I. go. Moments later, eight more G.I.s cameup to the general panting, he asked them why they were late."Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the busbut missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, boughta horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."The General eyed them, feeling very skeptical but since he let thefirst guy go, he let them go, too. A ninth G.I. jogged up to theGeneral, panting heavily."Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the busbut missed it, I hailed a cab but...""Let me guess," the General interrupted, "it broke down.""No," said the G.I., "there were so many dead horses in the road, ittook forever to get around them."

HAPPY NEW YEAR

HEY PPL HOPE U WLL HV D BEST YEAR IN 2011. ACTUALLY UM WSHIN YAL D BEST YEAR EVER

wht wuld u do whn she...

When she walks away from you very mad

Follow her to comfort herMshaye,

she's trying to blackmail you ukuthi ungayitholi ikuku!!

When she stares at your mouth

Kiss her

Ask her yini, uyang'halela ?!!

When she pushes you or hits you

Grab her and dont let go

Put on ur All Star's um'trape!! Aze axolise

When she's quiet

Ask her whats wrong

Mthuke ngo mawakhe, uthuliswe ubufebe!!

When she ignores you

Give her your attention

Hamba uyophuza, she will give YOU all the attention

When she pulls away

Pull her back

Tell her 'tsek, there's a lot of fish in the sea!!

When you see her at her worst

Tell her she's beautiful

Mtshele ayogeza or athole a rich Nigerian to sponsor her, awusiye uTito Mboweni

When you see her start crying

Just hold her and dont say a word

Tell her akasiye umntwana kamawakho, angazokutetemela!!!

When you see her walking

Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

Ask her ' ubuyela ebufebeni futhi neh??'

When she's scared

Protect her

Mbambe ngenkawuza and tell her inkinga ikuphi ? !!!!!

When she lays her head on your shoulder

Tilt her head up and kiss her

Ask her ' Usudakiwe yini futhi?'

When she steals your favorite hat

Let her keep it

Mshaye avuke esbhedlela. Sela ndini! Ufuna ukuyongithakatha!!

When she teases you

Tease her back and make her laugh

Be serious like a Zulu taxi driver and don't smile. Mtshele ayodlala nontanga bakhe!!

When she looks at you with doubt

treassure her, listen attentively

She thinks u r cheating. Start cheating coz when u do it she will never doubt u!!

When she says that she likes you

understand that she really does...more than you could understand

She wants money!!! Dump her quick! Isfebe!!

When she grabs at your hands

Hold her's and play with her fingers

Ufuna induku!! Mudle Boss!!

When she bumps into you

bump into her back and make her laugh

Udakiwe futhi!! Umalale' spotini, mshaye!!

When she tells you a secret

keep it safe and untold

Tell anyone who cares to listen, spread it bhuti!

When she looks at you in your eyes

dont look away until she does

Tell her!! 'Yini wena, ungibona nginama&*%#'

When she misses you

make means to see her

Uyanya, kanti wena uzobabona nini omakhwapheni?

When you break her heart

feel bad cos u know the pain never really goes away

She deserves it. ISfebe!!

When she says its overit's over,

wish her luck and move on

Mtshele uyanya, it's not over until u say it's over, or that you were tired of her anyways!!