SEX N CONDOMZ

What does Kodak film and a condom have in common?
They both capture the moment!
A couple just got a new house. The husband turned to his wife and ask her to go to the hardware store and get a door hinge for him. She kindly agreed and left.
When she got to the hardware store, got the hinge, and put it on the counter in fornt of the clerk. He noticed that she didn't have any screws for it, so he asked her ''Do you want a screw for that hinge?''
She looked back at him and said ''No, but I'll blow you for that toaster in the window.''
A young deaf-mute couple gets married. At first, they have sex with the lights on, in order to sign to each other.One day, the woman asks, "Can we try to make love with the lights off?"The man says, "OK, but how will you know when I want to make love?"The woman says, "Well, when you're in the mood, just shake my left breast once, and I'll know. If you don't want to, shake my right breast once."The man says, "All right. And if you want to make love to me, shake my penis once, if you do not want to make love to me, shake my penis about 50 times."

T HARD 4 U

A women without arms or legs is sitting on a beach weeping. A guy walks by and asks her what''s wrong. She says, "I''ve never been kissed before." The man feels sorry for her and gives her a long passionate kiss and starts to walk away. As he''s walking he hears her start crying again so he goes back and asks her what''s wrong now. She says, "I''ve never had sex before."
The man sweeps her up in his arms, looks into her eyes, and tosses her into the water yelling, "You''re screwed now!!"

CONDOMZ

Nike Condoms: Just do it.
Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, its that simple.
California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?
McDonalds Condom: One Billion Served.
Energizer Condom: It keeps going and going and going...
Bandai Condoms: Action Satisfaction.

WHT UP GUYSZ M BUZY THESE DAYZ

M KINDA BUSY THESE DAYS, ON TUESDAY I WAS
CELEBR8ING MY 21ST M OLD ENOUGH TO BRING
MY CHICK AT HOME N DO HER ON DA DINING
ROOM IN FRONT OF EVRY1, JUS KIDDING. THNX 4
FOLLOWING DIS BLOGER N REMEMBER THE BEST
IS YET 2 COM

lovely mom

Subject: Latter From A Mother With LoveDear Child,I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though. Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out. Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has h

GUYZ M BUSY THESE DAYZ ANY HAVE A LOVELY FEBRUARY DONT 4GT DAT ON DA 23RD IT MY 21ST