GREETINGZ

OUR KIDZ

ABANTWANA BETHU!!!!
There was a young boy, who one day went to the neighbor’s house only to find the mother and father arguing very fiercely, insulting each other.
While standing there listening to the argument, the man said to his wife:
“Ya, vele uyisifebe”.
Unnoticed the boy left the scene and went home where he found his mother busy enza amadombolo namagwinya and asked her ” Mama, yini ISIFEBE??”,
and mother without paying much interest to the question quickly answered him and said
“Yilokhu engikwenzayo” (She was busy mixing dough for making amagwinya).
The next day on Sunday at the boy’s home, there was a society, so the mother told the boy to be quiet in his bedroom until the society is over,
If he needed something,
he should just slightly open the door and call her.
After a while in his bedroom, the boy finally felt hungry and slightly open the door.
“Psssss, Mama, Mama” all the people in the living room kept quiet and looked at the boy,
“Ake ungiphe izifetshana ezimbili nje kuphela ngizozidlela la ekamelweni”

LIBRARIAN

A MAN returns a book to the library, bangs it on the counter and yells, 'I read this entire novel, there are too many names of people, no story at all' The Librarian looks up and responds: 'So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory???

2009 ELECTION RACE

रीड HERE

Just to let you know that you are Everything To Somebody now at this very minute I am thinking of you someone is very proud of you
someone is thinking of you
someone cares about you
someone misses you
Someone wants to talk to you
someone wants to be with you
someone hopes you aren't in trouble
someone is thankful for the support you have provided
someone wants to hold your hand someone hopes everything turns out all right
someone wants you to be happy
someone wants you to find them
someone is celebrating your successes
someone wants to give you a gift
someone think you ARE a gift
someone hopes you are not too cold, or too hot
someone wants to hug you
someone loves you
someone wants to lavish you with small gifts
someone admires your strength
someone is thinking of you and smiling
someone wants to be your shoulder to cry on
someone wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun
someone thinks the world of you
someone wants to protect you
someone would do anything for you
someone wants to be forgiven
someone is grateful for your forgiveness
someone wants to laugh with you about old times
someone remembers you and wishes you were there
someone needs to know that your love is unconditional
somebody values your advice
someone wants to tell you how much they care
someone wants to stay up watching old movies with you
someone wants to share their dreams with you
someone wants to hold you in their arms
someone wants YOU to hold them in your arms
someone treasures your spirit
someone wishes they could STOP time because of you
someone can't wait to see you
someone wishes that things didn't have to change
someone loves you for who you are
someone loves the way you make them feel
someone wants to be with you someone hears a song that reminds them of you
someone wants you to know they are there for you
someone is glad that you're their friend
someone wants to be your friend
someone stayed up all night thinking about you
someone is alive because of you
someone is wishing that you would notice them
someone wants to get to know you better
someone believes that you are their soul mate
someone wants to be near you
someone misses your guidance and advice
someone values your guidance and advice
someone has faith in you
someone trusts you
someone needs you to send them this letter
someone needs your support
someone needs you to have faith in them
someone needs you to let them be your friend
someone will cry when they read this

अनोदा तरु STORY

Ruth went to her mail box and there was only one letter. She picked itup and looked at it before opening, but then she looked at the envelopeagain.There was no stamp, no postmark, only her name and address. She read theletter:Dear Ruth:I`m going to be in your neighborhood Saturday afternoonand I'd like to stopby for a visit.Love Always, JesusHer hands were shaking as she placed the letter on thetable. "Why would theLord want to visit me?I'm nobody special. I don't have anything to offer."With that thought, Ruth remembered her empty kitchencabinets. "Oh mygoodness, I really don't have anything to offer. I'llhave to run down tothe store and buy something for dinner." She reachedforher purse andcounted out its contents. Five dollars and forty cents."Well, I can getsome bread and cold cuts, at least."She threw on her coat and hurried out the door.A loaf of French bread, a half-pound of sliced turkey,and a carton ofmilk..leaving Ruth with grand total twelve cents tolasther until Monday.Nonetheless, she felt good as she headed home, hermeager offerings tuckedunder her arm."Hey lady, can you help us, lady?"Ruth had been so absorbed in her dinner plans, shehadn't even noticed twofigures huddled in the alleyway. A man and a woman,bothof them dressed inlittle more than rags"Look lady, I ain't got a job, ya know, and my wife andI have been livingout here on the street, and, well, now it's gettingcoldand we're gettingkinda hungry and, well, if you could help us. Lady,we'dreally appreciateit."Ruth looked at them both.They were dirty, they smelled bad and frankly, she wascertain that theycould get some kind of work if they really wanted to."Sir, I'd like to help you, b ut I'm a poor womanmyself. All I have is a fewcold cuts and some bread, and I'm having an importantguest for dinnertonight and I was planning on serving that to Him.""Yeah, well, okay lady, I understand. Thanks anyway."The man put his arm around the woman's shou lders,turned and headed backinto the alley.As she watched them leave, Ruth felt a familiar twingein her heart."Sir, wait!" The couple stopped and turned as she randown the alley afterthem. "Look, why don't you take this food. I'll figureout something else toserve my guest."She handed the man her grocery bag."Thank you lady. Thank you very much!""Yes, thank you!" It was the man's wife, and Ruth couldsee now that she wasshivering. "You know, I've got another coat at home.Here, why don't youtake this one." Ruth unbuttoned her jacket and slippedit over the woman'sshoulders. Then smiling, she turned and walked back tothe street...withouther coat and with nothing to serve her guest."Thank you lady!Thank you very much!"Ruth was chilled by the time she reached her frontdoor,and worried too.The Lord was coming to visit and she didn't haveanything to offer Him.She fumbled through her purse for the door key. But asshe did, she noticedanother envelope in her mailbox."That's odd. The mailman doesn't usually come twice inone day." She tookthe envelope out of the box and opened it.Dear Ruth:It was so good to see you again. Thank you for thelovely meal. And thankyou, too, for the beautiful coat.Love Always JesusThe air was still cold, but even without her coat, Ruthno longer noticedIf you love Jesus, send this to ten people. Do notkeepthis message.You will get a very pleasant surprise.Very good things will happen to everyone that touchesthis story.

ENCOURAGMENT

May this encourage you always.

Don't spend major time with minor people. If there are people in your life that continually disappoint you, break promises, stomp on your dreams, too judgmental, have different values and don't give their backing during difficult times...that is not a friend.

To have a friend, be a friend. Sometimes in life as you grow, your friends will either grow or go. Surround yourself with people who reflect values, goals interests and lifestyle.

When I think of any of my successes, I am thankful to GOD from whom all blessings flow, and to my family and friends that enrich my life.

Over the years my phone book has changed because I changed for the better. At first you think you're going to be alone, but after a while new people show up in your life that make your life so much sweeter and easier to endure.

If you're an eagle, don't hang around chickens:

Chickens Can't Fly!

I love the Lord and thank Him for all that he does in my life, therefore, I'm passing this on. Yes I do love Jesus. He is my source of existence and Savior. He keeps me functioning each and everyday...... Without Him, I would be nothing.

Without Him, I am nothing but with Him I can do all things. Phil 4:13

If you love Jesus, send this to five people !!!!!! Be Positive - Be Progressive - Take the time to make a positive difference in someone's life.

Walk by faith

Not by sight

Receive God's blessings!

Anoda boring joke

Grandma Goes to Court


Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?
Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts..
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?


Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years.
Defense! Attorney: What happened next ?
Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That's when he yelled, "April Fool!"..
...And that's when I shot the son of a bitch!



If this brightened your dayDon't let it stop herePass it on with a smilekeep spreading the cheer!Please pass this on to your friends!

boring jokes

All Durbanites
Two fullaz from Chatsworth are driving through Wentworth (Main Road) when they get pulled over by traffic cop. The cop walks up and taps the window with his "Batten" .The driver rolls down the window and THUMMMMP!!!, the cop smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver asks, " Hey, what kind & all with u man?"The cop answers, "You're in Wentworth, chaar laaitie. When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car."" The driver says, "I'm sorry saarge but I'm not from over here, I'm from da Chatsis."The cop runs a check on the guys license, and he's clean. He gives theguy his license back, walks around to the passengerside, and taps the window. The passenger rolls down the window andTHUMMMMP!!, the cop wacks him on the head with the "batten".The passenger asks, " What da hell & all saarge, what you carrying on so shell for?"The cop says, "Just making your wish come true guzzie." The passenger asks, " What you chooning about making my wish come true?"The cop says, "I know that 2k's down the road from here you're gonna say to your outie, "I wish that cop would've tried that sh*t with me, I would have blarry booted him!!!
The Inndeen(Indian) Family Tree
Meet the family and this what they do, Dad the bus driver is BUSDEO, he has a couple sons, the one ou is a carpet salesman his name is RUGNATH, his brother the drug addict is GAANJADEAN, the small ou is a boxer his name is CHINSAMY, his friend the astronaut is MOONSAMY, the neighbour that just got of jail for murder is MADURAY, and they bly next to the indian muslim girl who sits under the mango tree, her name is SHAIDA and her best friend who sits under the lemon tree is SOURTREE, but what they don't know is that the indian sniper GUNPATH is checking them out!!!
The Mixed Masala
Little Jaidan comes from school one day. "Mummy, am I an Indian like you or am I a coloured like dad?" Mum thinks that this is a question for her husband and tells Jaidan to ask his dad when he arrives home after work. When Dad arrives, Jaidan ran up to him, "Dad am I an Indian like Mom or a coloured like you?" "It does not matter if you are coloured or Indian. You are our child! Now why are you asking a question like that?" "I MUST know Dad. The neighbor wants to sell his bicycle for R200 and I don't know if I should bargain with him to bring down the price to R100, or if I should just wait till its dark and go steal the bike..




Phoenix SAPS
Ullo, is this the Phoenix SAPS?''Ya. What you want?''I'm calling to report my neighbor, VisvanathenMoonsamy! He is hiding dagga inside his firewood.' 'Ja...Thank you foryour copration and informashin in combating crime and violence, inour society sir..' The next day, the SAP descend on Viss' possie. Theysearch the braai Lapa where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they chopopen every piece of wood, but find no dagga. They shout and swear atVis and leave.
The phone rings at Viss' house.'Hey, Vis ! Did the SAPS come?''Ja!''Did they chop your firewood for the braaitonight?' '...ja....'
'Happy Birthday Bra! 'I'll bring the dops now.