JESUS

Back whn i was a kid our teacher gave us homework. The homework was to find out who rearly jesus was so i came home frm schul n found mom in da kitchen, I ask her wh ws jesus she said i am too busy go ask ur Dady. Dady was washing his car, i asked him he said ask either ur csta or broda. I asked my sisie n she was beasy with her her she said gt out of my room n i did gt ou of her room n i also went out of the house until i found the man in the street he was so drunk he couldnt walk himself so i help him thankfully (i was still young if it now i wuld definately clean his wallet in a sec) so i decided to aks him

"wh was jesus",

" I am jesus" he replies "realy?" i ddnt blieve he was jesus.

"What u dont bliv i'm jesuswell let me prove it 2 u take me to that bar" he said.

I did take him there coz i wanted proof whn we get in the barman said

"JESUS, IT YOU GAIN"

from then i knew he was jesus I started respecting him from that day even after finding out that he wasnt jesus i never stoped respecting him

COW N MAN

One night a rural man decided to pass urine outside,
There were thirsty cows nearby. As he urinated, this cow approached
and slowly sucked him.
So he said: Nkomo suka lapha! Then his tone changed as he Climaxed.
with abated breath and trembling voice he muttered:
" Nkoms..............!
Nkomisto.............!
Nkomzaaa.............!
Nkomlolo.............!
Nkomziro.............!
nkomaristo...........!
Nkomzozilalaaaaaaaa..!
Laaaaaaaaaaa.........!
Moooooooooo..........!
Kodwa Nkomo uyangthanda or Uyang user

EMBARASMENT

One day she met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.Some months later, on her birthday, her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the countryside she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than she could stand. With miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home, so she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, she made sure that she released ALL the gas.Upon her arrival, her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight!"He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the dinner table. she took a seat and just as he was about to remove her blindfold, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and wentto answer the call.The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. she took her napkin from her lap and fanned the air around her vigorously.Then, shifting to the other cheek, she ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage!!!Keeping her ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another few minutes.The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she quickly fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with herself.her face must have been the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked her if she had peeked through the blindfold, and she assured him she had not.At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!" her boss, colligues and friends were there.she fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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